Eat Ladies, Eat! Part II

We've all seen what skinny looks like. Hell, we're saturated with it everywhere we turn. And as many times as I had read that waifish supermodels had eating disorders/drug addictions and that even their bodies didn't look like their bodies (thanks to Photo-Shop-ing), I had still internalized the "thinner is better" mantra which hums inexorably beneath every facet of society.

The real wake up call was the pro-anorexia site I stumbled across. The sponsors of these sites are truly, truly sick. They preach food avoidance, spending money on Cosmopolitan or Glamour instead of food, and they shout militantly for self control. Their end goal is not to become one of the "pigs" who deign to eat. They instruct others how to vomit successfully, how to hide food, how to "eat vicariously", et al. As they hold up pictures in American Eagle catalogs for their (unachievable) inspiration, they spread death and propaganda. They still think the lie is real.

So it's not just me. I'm not imagining things. The pressure is there. The lie is right in front of us.

You can eat less and exercise more, fast like there's no tomorrow, try to deny that you like food (as a friend has tried to sell me more than once), and take Dexatrim 14 times a day. But there is only so much your body will tolerate. Sooner or later, it is going to rebel. Whether it's growing fur in strange places, getting stomach cramps, losing teeth, shedding hair, becoming anemic, losing your ability to menstruate, becoming permanently infertile, fracturing bones, bloating from retaining huge amounts of water or collapsing from exhaustion, your body will either protect itself from you or begin to die. Period. When you choose to abuse your body, you become its enemy, not its friend.

The lovely body that God gave you -- the one that lets you sleep and rest, run and play, bend and flex, work and reproduce, hold and hug, and yes, enjoy eating -- becomes other. It is no longer a Temple to be honored and cared for, it is a sick and diseased rubbish bin.

Another thing happens when one is so focused on outward "perfection". People become so focused on their perceived shortcomings and their personal pain that they are no longer able to reach out and soothe others. They are taxing to be around. They no longer exude light and love and easiness -- they are far too rapt within themselves to be of any use or sense. They are bitter, irritable, empty, hollow, depressed and needy. They are never happy.

That is not the fruit of the Spirit.

Galatians 5:22-23 --
22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.

They have become their own god. They have perverted, however unintentionally, the message of the Gospel. Why? To fit in, to be accepted, to be approved, adored, loved. But their conception of these things has been twisted so hard that they seldom recognize real acceptance, approval, adoration and love from their loved ones or from God. They have relinquished their intuition and self-knowing, and that of the People who know them best, to someone whom they have never met. They have allowed an imposter to define them. And that imposter seeks only to kill, steal and destroy.

So how does she know when they have gotten to a place where things are unhealthy? When food is her primary obsession. When it begins to take precedence over everything else. When not a day goes by that she does not think about calories, thinness, eating less, working out more, trying a new "program" or how others might perceive her. It's the first thing she thinks about when she wakes up. It's the last thing she thinks about before she goes to bed. It's the impending doom she feels when she realizes she must eat. It's the worry that someone is going to ask her out to eat in a uncontrolled environment -- where calorie counts are hazy and pre-meal food is offered absently on the table. It's the nightmares. It's the repeated prayers for God to heal her and take away the pain. It's the tears. It's the constant "sizing up" she performs in the mirror. It's the not living. It's the life she has stolen from herself. It's every time she has panicked when she felt "full".

Eventually, she comes to the dead end. It's not enough for her to be loved. It's not enough for her to know what she sees in the mirror is beautiful. It's not enough that she's healthy and strong. It's not enough that she's soft and feminine. She lacks. But does she know what she lacks? That remains unclear. She can never put her finger on it. A better question might be: Does she lack? If she has a life full of God, she lacks nothing.

And it's true, there are women for whom weight is not an issue. They can eat all they want and maintain it. No problem... But they are rare.

There is nothing wrong with shedding a few pounds to improve one's health and (dare I say) appearance. I am living proof of that. Would I want to be a size 22 again? No thanks, I'm very happy with my humble 9.

There is nothing wrong with eating nutritiously and working out. That's what God has called us to do. Our bodies are Temples. We should honor them as such not only by what we eat, but what we do, and with whom. When we treat our bodies with respect, we start living, and it makes us glow from the inside out. When we are healthy, in every area, it shows. And we suddenly become trees dripping with precious fruit.

But why don't we see this reflected in our culture? Well we did, until about 60 years ago. Ubiquitous in artistic renderings of the female form from ancient times up until the turn of the 20th century were soft lines, curls, swirls, and curves. That's what made women, women. They weren't men (notice how the male ideal form has not changed much). But until one stumbles across pictures like these:



And compares them with pictures like these:


The journey from disconnect to "AHA!" is not complete.

The former is "Flaming June" by Lord Leighton Frederic.

The latter is Valerie Lefkowitz, a successful plus-size model. That's right! I said plus-sized! And look where she is.

Unafraid, unashamed and gorgeous.

So is the next:

And the next:


This is Barbara Brickner, another plus-size model:

So is this:


And this is Kate Dillon:


All these women have made their careers by representing the female form unhindered by starvation and abuse.

It begs two questions: What's wrong with our society? And what's wrong with curves?

That would take too long to tackle, so I'm just going to hand over the wisdom I have garnered by gazing open-mouthed at these ladies and reading their words. It's all about balance. Take care of and with yourself and your life will begin to balance. That may take you to a higher dress size than you are comfortable with. But life is not a size. I can't be sized. It is too full to be contained.

Natalie Laughlin, another plus-sized model, has a great site where she shares many of her experiences and bits of wisdom. She advocates daily exercise (she ran a marathon recently herself), good nutrition, prayer (though my only objection is her bent toward Eastern mysticism), and laughter. Balance is her watchword. And her practical advice to finding it? "There are three things to give up when striving to achieve balance –Pleasing others, Perfection, and Outcome." She ranges in size from a 12 to a 14.

So what's stopping you? What's keeping you, sweet and beautiful woman, from rolling around in femininity and all things wonderful and really living? What's stopping you from embracing the gifts God has given you and smiling from the inside out? No matter what size you are... "You are more beautiful now as yourself than you could ever be as you are not."