Pet Fa-REAK-in' Peeve

Pet Peeve #1:People who don't listen (See also people who don't use their inference skills, whether in conversation or in printed exchange.)

I can tell my Mother the same damned thing 14 times and she still gets it jumbled. I can say, "The family Christmas dinner will be at our house at 1 pm." This information would lead a rational person to the following inferences:
a. a meal for 6 adults and one toddler will be served on December 25
b. it will be served in our dining room, at our address
c. this meal will be plated and on the table at 1 pm

It doesn't matter that I presented this information to said Mother on the first day of November. It doesn't matter that in 13 subsequent phonecalls and face-to-face conversations I alluded to this event with the exact same specifications. My sister still called me four days before Christmas, confused, because in her last conversation with my Mother, said Mother had stated that she wasn't sure what the family was doing for Christmas dinner. She thought they might all be coming to our house, but she wasn't sure what time.

We printed a menu on heavy card stock with classic, iconic graphics listing appetizers; entrees; sides; desserts; offered beverages; and service time.

They still arrived late.

Pet Peeve #2: People Who Talk Too Slow

The same co-worker will burst into my office at least once a week, demand (by his mere presence) that I drop everything and prepare a proposal for him. "This is big stuff!" "It was supposed to go out yesterday!"

I will be irritated. I hate being disturbed. Hate it. Hate it like fire. Especially by someone so imperious and bumbling. But. I. Am. Here. As. A representative. Of Christ. (She says through gritted teeth) So.

*exhale*

I will push my papers aside and drop everything. It matters not that I deliver him a righteous ass-ripping. It fails to make him any more organized or polite. He is, of course, backed in full by my boss. My hands will be tied... again.

"Alright, for whose contract is this proposal?"

Total silence. As if I've asked him to name the 18th President or to recite the table of elements.

"Who is this to be sent to?"

Stunned silence. Stammering.

I will squish my eyes shut and try mightily not to brandish the blades of my Fiskars. It matters not. The entire information exchange will follow in the same fashion. I will ask a perfectly rational question. He will stammer and stutter as if he has no inkling of the answer.

I ask him the same questions for every proposal. In the same order. But he never gives me the information in that order. He acts surprised every time I request specific information. He comes to proposals unprepared, sometimes with inadequate information.

But it gets worse. He converses in this way. Short staccato bursts of demands and epithets, followed by spaces of brain-dead, vacuous silence.

Good God.

Pet Peeve #3: People who complain about things they never take action to change

I've kicked more than a few hefty habits in my life and maintained a 100 pound weight loss. I have no time for whining. None. If something is within 6 feet of your power to change, for the love of Pete, change it.
Examples:
a. "I sure wish I could lose weight. I guess I'll just be fat forever. Can I have one of those cookies?"
b. "I know I need to quit smoking. I know it's bad for my health and the health of my family. And we really don't have the extra money to spend on something that expensive. But I've tried so many times and it's just so hard... Can you loan me $20.00. I don't have any gas money."
c. "I don't know why we drink so often. I don't even like the taste of alcohol. I wouldn't drink so much if my husband wasn't a drinker. I guess the two of us just get together and drink beer out of habit. ... I've had a hard day, you wanna' go out for some cocktails later?"

PEOPLE! Give me a Fa-REAK-in' BREAK!