Jonah Goldberg, Hero

Book this man a seat on "Oprah":

About a month ago, I helped a Muslim woman with her groceries in a supermarket parking lot. She was dealing with her kids and her shopping cart started to roll away from her car with the groceries still inside. As it rolled, I saw a decent society of tolerance and kindness rolling away. The cart’s one wobbly wheel — going chapocketa, chapocketa, chapocketa — was onomatopoetically tapping out a small drumbeat for the forced march to oblivion of all we hold dear.


Thank goodness I was there.

Thank goodness this country produces heroes like me.

That's just the beginning of a delicious riff on liberal self-love. Read the whole thing.