No, Mr. Wayne, I Want You To Die

Mark Steyn didn't like Batman's beginning:

I’ve no problem with reinvention: the boffo superhero franchises are the equivalent of ‘My Funny Valentine’ — you can play it a thousand different ways and, while the crossover opera diva might not care for the bluegrass fiddler’s take or vice versa, the song will survive both versions. But, if you’re going to reinvent, you have to be inventive. Batman Begins begins in a prison camp somewhere in Asia, where a bedraggled and hirsute Bruce Wayne keeps picking fights with his fellow inmates. Fortunately, Liam Neeson is on hand to spring him from gaol and initiate him into the highly disciplined martial arts of an elite group commanded by someone called Ra’s Al Ghul.

Surely ‘reinvention’ doesn’t just mean dispensing with all the clichés of your own project and replacing them with all the clichés from everybody else’s movies — pseudo-mysticism, ninjas, stubble, bald Oriental masterminds, Liam Neeson being dour in a trenchcoat. The whole thing is utterly generic, and nothing to do with Batman. I assumed that this was some sort of gloomy prologue — like the last 007, where he’s unkempt and hairy in a North Korean prison listening to Madonna drone the world’s worst Bond song over and over, but after a grim ten minutes he swims ashore in Hong Kong, shaves, changes into his tux, has a martini and starts bonking and wisecracking his way around the world.

I thought the movie was quite excellent, and that the heart of it was focusing on Bruce Wayne as opposed to The Batman or the villains.

The only downside was how execrably awful Katie Holmes is in this film. Any other actress would have done a better job. Paris Hilton or Britney Spears would have carried more heft.

I don't care if she does become Tom Cruise's baby incubator---she'll never be a big star.