So I Read US Weekly, So What?

How am I supposed to drop hip cultural references into this blog if I'm not up on the latest in celebrity culture?

Sure, I follow the Tom Cruise-Katie Holmes train wreck the way a soccer hooligan follows Arsenal. Where else where I get inside jokes regarding Scientology, arranged marriages, or lip herpes?

I know all about Brad and Jen and Angelina, too. I've been watching this disaster unfold since Angelina was making out with her brother while wearing Billy Bob Thornton's blood around her neck.

Madonna and Qabbalah? Check.

Ben and Jen? Gotcha covered.

The Incredible Shrinking Lindsay Lohan? I even have the latest lie from her publicist---she's just working out a lot.

Besides, were it not for the fine journos at US, I wouldn't be able to share this with you: