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"An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last."
Sir Winston Churchill

9.27.2005

Tagged! Part 3

5 things I would not wear:
Okay, this is hard. I'm such a fashionista. If ABC needed a Super Nanny-like, back-to-basics fashion critic, I'd have my own show. But I've pared it down to six. AND THAT'S A SUPREME SACRIFICE, PEOPLE!
1) Taper-legged, high-waisted jeans/jeans under a dress or skirt/leggings under a jean skirt. This trend has got to die. The sooner the better.
2) Sunglasses that are 4 times bigger than my head. I'm not a FRIGGIN' lolly!
3) Anything that is frumpy, dirty looking, slouchy or that is cut strangely. These just make one look all of the former and latter.
4) Pointy-toed shoes. I don't like this look, but I admit -- I tried. I only ended up feeling like the Wicked Witch of the West. And when I attempted to walk, they flapped like twee fins on the back of my feet. Not attractive. Especially on a girl who has a size 10 foot.
5) Granny panties with dress pants. LADIES! Panty lines are fashion crime #1! GET SOME THONGS OR PANTYHOSE, STAT! Grrr...
6) Anything -- ANYTHING -- that is too tight, too short or that shows too much skin. Unflattering, sleazy, unladylike. Just don't.

5 things I wear all the time:
1) A-line skirts embellished with pretty designs and/or glittery beads with a simple top.
2) My shades on top of my head with a ponytail and dangly earrings.
3) Button-up dress shirts with the sleeves rolled up and the buttons unbuttoned down to the middle of my stomach with a cami or tank underneath. Short necklace, earrings, breezy hair, jeans. Various colors and combos. It's a classic, cool, comfortable, feminine look. Highly portable and adaptable.
4) Stretch workout capris under an oversized t-shirt with sneakers, but only on weekends
5) Makeup. I'm rarely without it. I'm from pale Irish people. We look positively dead without something on, especially lipstick.

5 things I wish I could wear:
Okay, this was not part of the original TAG!, but it's MY BLOG!
1) Strapless evening dresses. Let's just say the dress would have no "support", m'kay?
2) Knee boots. My calves are HUGE from genetics and working out for so many years. I would love to do the "turtleneck, short tweed skirt with tights and kneeboots" look, but alas... the calves... Moooo...
3) A bikini. I've never worn one. I was too heavy until I was 25, and then my 100-pound weight loss made my stomach look like something you'd "pop n' fresh" and slather with butter. So, ix-nay on the ikini-bay.
4) Pencil skirt. Yeah -- legs. All my heft is in my legs. Good for lugging buckets, babies and wheelbarrows down the back 40; hoisting kegs at Oktoberfest; setting a new world's record in deadlifting, whatnot. Bad for dainty skinny-legged fashion trends. Poo.
5) Anything really daring, innovative, creative or unusual. I envy people who can wear their own unique style with confidence. I'm not an avant garde sort of person. I stick close to the classics. It's safer there.

5 favorite TV programs:
1) Seinfeld reruns
2) Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law
3) Firefly -- cancelled
4) Freaks and Geeks -- cancelled
5) Food Network, in general (except that Italian munchkin with the big head who mispronounces everything and never fails to remind you that she used to live in Roma. She's got about as much personality and warmth as a damp dish towel.)

5 greatest joys:
1) Grace
2) My fantabulous manny man (who makes me laugh so hard I cry. And is solid as a rock on the dependability scale). *dreamy sigh*
3) My 2 year old niece, especially when I get the "airport hug" (you know this one -- she's running toward me with a big slobbery grin so I can pick her up and swing her around and get Auntie kisses all over her)
4) Taking care of people
5) Finishing challenging projects successfully -- baking, writing, drawing, sculpting, hiking, yoga, books, singing

5 favorite toys:
1) The kitchen -- my new cake-decorating equipment especially (NEATO!), but the loot we're getting off the wedding registry comes in a close second.
2) iPod
3) Books, books, books. I could roll in them. I never get a chance to read either. And lately, when I do get the chance, I get drowsy and fall asleep. Curses!
4) At the moment, silk flowers. I'm doing all the decorations and florals for The Wedding myself. Way fun. I can lose hours doing this, completely rapt.
5) The internet

5 things I plan to do before I die:
1) Take care of my husband and (hopefully) our children to the best of my ability.
2) Bake a souffle. It's a little intimidating.
3) Walk a marathon for charity
4) Finish the children's book I've been working on... and submit it for publication (scare-reee)
5) Learn how to knit -- hence, being able to make (really high quality) sweaters and scarves, boggins and mittens, etc.

5 things I can do:
1) Two hours of aerobics/yoga. YES! *High five*
2) Admit when I'm wrong and apologize
3) Create really beautiful and/or tasty things
4) Work hard
5) Be still

5 things I cannot do:
1) Lie
2) Tolerate fools
3) Run very far -- the right knee screams too much
4) Wrap a present with perfectly straight folds and less than 80 pieces of tape
5) Be rushed

5 things that attract me to the opposite sex:
Hellooo... luv-vah...
Well, he obviously has to be a Christian -- that goes without saying, but since it's mandatory:
1) Wit
2) Intelligence
3) Kindness
4) Dependability
5) Work ethic

5 things I say most often:
1) Absolutely.
2) OHMYGOH! Usually with my eyes all big. It's one word, not three.
3) SHUT YOUR FILTHY PIEHOLE! This is reserved for when I've heard incredibly shocking or fantastic news. It's meant to be playful.
4) YAY! This is generally accompanied by a short, staccato burst of hand clapping. Yeah... I'm a cheerleader at heart. And I have more energy than I know what to do with. I disgust myself sometimes, too, no worries.
5) Leave me alone. This is internal dialogue... most of the time. I love people, but when I've had enough, I've had enough.

5 favorite words:
Again, not part of the original TAG!, but again, too good to pass up.
1) knickerbocker [NIH-ker-bah-ker] Say it fast. Fun.
2) onomatopoeia [AH-nuh-MAH-tuh-PEE-uh] Whee!
3) Schadenfreude [SHY-den-froid-dah] *heh*
4) contemplative [con-TEM-plah-tihv]
5) no

5 celebrity crushes:
I'm qualifying this one. There are so few celebrities who make the cut. This is an imaginary list, which exists in a parallel universe. (Again, MY BLOG!)
1) C.S. Lewis -- Witty AND brilliant
2) Bono, ca. 1985
3) Dean Martin, the persona who existed in his music and on his old variety show.
4) If I knew nothing about him except his music and creativity -- Paul McCartney
5) Will Farrell

5 wishes:
Not part of the TAG!, but what the hey...
1) That people could hear each other's voices in their posts and comments. 'Course, if we were all better writers this would not be necessary, myself especially.
2) That people understood how much I truly love them, despite flaws and spotty evidence to the contrary
3) That life would slow down... so people could slow down... so we could all laugh and relax more often
4) That I understood the mysteries of what God has for me and that I truly had faith to move mountains
5) That I had more patience and didn't snap at people, even when they're making my blood boil

That's it. Done with "all about me". If you wanna' play, go right ahead. I'd love to hear about you, too.

5 Comments:

Blogger worshipnaked said...

Hey -- You did the "extra" stuff that I didn't do! Yeah. I saw that on The Anchoress' blog, but since she didn't put my name at the very bottom, I didn't do it. Hee.

Do a lot of keg hoisting at Oktoberfest, do ya, WG? ;-)

6:01 PM  
Blogger WordGirl said...

I NEVER TOOK 'ROIDS! Stop the hate. ;-)

My sister is a 5'5", little, teeny, bird-boned thing with dark skin and green eyes. And here I am all pale and tall and brunette -- and built like an East German Olympiad. I'm an Oktoberfest manager's dream. And I'm pretty sure I would look hot in the outfit... "so... I got *that* goin' for me... which is nice..."

7:23 AM  
Anonymous karen said...

I can't answer every question, but I have to tell you we're pretty opposite in most cases, but i think alike in the deeper traits, WG.

i am NOT a clotheshound. my older sister and little brother got that trait and they look great. When I get my brother's hanc-me-downs, i'm happy. Gap, Old Navy, A. Eagle. I think I do clean up nicely, i'm fairly attractive and were little makeup, but some lipstick and eye-liner. I'm basically presenable, but hate,hate and hate to shop.

One good thing going for me is my 14 yr old daughter. We have the same build now- she's bigger on top, of course and they haven't nursed foru baracuda kids, but i now can wear hip-hugging flares and they seem to make me look good :). She has good taste, but i guess we aren't very feminine down here on the farm. My bones are slender, though and if it wasn't for that stinkin'Muffin Top and jiggley underarms, i'd be happy.

You make me laugh so hard w/your descriptions of why you cannot wear some styles. Moo calves are what we actually call the babies here and they are so adorable. So, that's a bit of consolation for ya!!

I am a good cook, but so slow. i can't time anyting, so i often have 3 course meals. Meat... then potatoes and then the vegies. it's too much work for me to think of anything new... I have no food imagination. I like to eat, though.

i'm understanding and love to help people see the good in their lives and encourage them that better times are ahead. Always. God knows what's in store and it may be hard going for a while, but rewards are so worth the wait.

I love, love to read as well. Anything, pretty much. Right now it's Harry Potter #6 and it's good. I liked #3 best. i have to buy some of Anchoress' books on her shelf. Learn more about my faith.

I also wish I could paint the picture in my mind of a pear tree bearing unborn children inside not-quite-ripe fruit. I can see how spectacular it is, I just haven't atttempted it yet and want to do that before I die. My six yr old draws these trees for me and they are too cute, but I want to title it... And Blessed is the Fruit... It's weird, but consider the source.

I always say, Thank You, God, when I find lost things. i get snappy at night, when 4 kids need me all at once, so I wish I had more patience. I procrastinate, I would drive you batty.

Good looking guys. Tom Selleck?

I really like *Without a Trace* and am peeved that Joan of Arcadia is finished. i got that show. it was quirky and fast-paced, neurotic. I got it.

Ok, all for noi bet you look good in lots of stuff, you just worry too much.

9:42 AM  
Anonymous karen said...

Sorry for any weird spelling a punctuation mistakes. My 2 yr old was tugging on my arm... a lot!! Also, my i's don't get capitalized half the time because my shift finger is too slow, but I like it. mr. gobley tries to keep his i's small, kindof like written humility, I think.

9:46 AM  
Blogger WordGirl said...

Thanks, Muffin! Good stuff. And you would be proud of me. I'm reading a book by Pope John Paul II right now.

WG

11:19 AM  

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