Camp-y Songs

In honor of a childhood memory I thought I'd long repressed, I'd like to share some lyrics to a catchy little ditty I learned in 4-H Camp as a child. Because really, what's summer without roadkill and barfing? Thanks, T, for reminding me.

*ahem*

In order to perform the first line of the opening verse one must first learn the corresponding hand motions and facial gestures correctly. The grasp of this first set of gestures and sounds is crucial to the understanding of the rest of the piece entirely. Go with me on this, people.

* curl your hands up and place on either side of your face and squint really hard and then make this noise -- Oomp! -- staccato and gutteral
* next, simultaneously thrust your hands into position akin to the classic jazz hands pose (fingers spread as wide and tense as possible creating a star effect); open your eyes as widely as possible; thrust out your tongue as far as it will go; and make this noise -- Ah! -- very close to the noise you would make had a doctor just wrangled your tongue beneath a depressor, except shorter and more percussive.

We will call this onomatopoeia/gesture the Oomp-Ah! effect. Let's practice before we proceed.

Oomp-Ah!
Oomp-Ah!
Oomp-Ah!
Oomp-Ah!
Oomp-Ah!

Very good.

Okay, let's begin the song. In 4/4 time.

Oomp-Ah! Went the little green frog one day
Oomp-Ah! Went the little green frog
Oomp-Ah! Went the little green frog one day
and his eyes went Oomp-Ah!-Oomp-AH!-AH!

(Make believe you are honking a horn)
Honk-honk! went the big Mack truck one day
(Make a gesture as if you were tossing a flapjack from hand to hand -- like a sideways clap -- right then left)
Squish-squish! Went the little green frog
And his eyes didn't go Oomp-Ah! anymore
'Cuz they all gotten eaten by a dog -- BARK! BARK!

Oh but it doesn't end there! Let us continue!

(Make a motion like you're shoving your finger down your throat. DO IT!)
Barf! Barf! Went the big brown dog one day
OUT! OUT! Came the little green frog
And the people were so proud to see the little green frog (this is rushed and squished, but does fit the phrase beats allowed)
That they all gave a party for the dog, YAH-HOO!!!!!

Again, what?!

I can't imagine they teach this song to kids anymore. But rest assured I will teach it to mine when the time comes. Along with a plethora of other camp songs I know by heart; songs equally as strange and hilarious.