Miracles

Head chef of the cosmos, Jesus, has imparted His fabulous EASY AND TIMESAVING recipes for miracles TO YOU! In His exclusive offer, now available to you at a low, low cost, learn all there is to know! All you need is His best selling book! Inside you'll find recipes including:

* feeding that large gathering at the soccer stadium with interchangeable recipes using only 5 loaves of day-old bread and 2 fish! OR 7 loaves and 3 fish! Save time AND money!
* healing the blind with dirt and spit!

Easy enough to do at home! All you need is His bestselling book and faith the size of a mustard seed! Act now! Before this offer expires!

Seriously, though. All this talk about "faith" and the "equipment" that healers and "real seekers" need is a load of horsefeathers... and that's putting it nicely. Read the Gospels, people. It's not hard. Dirt and spit?! Come on! Jesus knew what was up. He didn't carry around a tackle box full of oil and magic incantations.

If believers needed to roll in the floor and bark, speak anything into existence or lay our hands on the TV screen I'm pretty sure it would be right there, IN THE BOOK. In BIG, BOLD LETTERS.

I'm sick of people coming with a "word" they heard, a "new teaching" of Christ from some charlatan preacher they follow, or some new revelation that the world is absolutely going to end in 2006. I'm sick of hearing about people "planting seed for kingdom" in order to get that plane they've been "speaking" they're going to "receive". I'm sick of people bullying others and talking down to them because they are a different denomination and therefore must not be "real" Christians. I'm sick of people chasing feelings, experiences, "gifts" of the Spirit, and miracles, instead of the Peace of Christ.

Sit down and shut up. Pay attention, 'cause I'm only gonna' say this once.

Read your Bible through your own eyes, not the eyes of someone who has spoon-fed you their interpretation. Sit down and read it without a higlighter or any expectations. Just read it. And think for yourself. Stop watching televangelists. Use that time to read more. Read the whole thing -- even the long lists of ancestors in the Old Testament. Then pray. Live out your holy orders. Repeat.

1 Corinthians 1:10-31
10 I appeal to you, brothers, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree with one another so that there may be no divisions among you and that you may be perfectly united in mind and thought. 11 My brothers, some from Chloe's household have informed me that there are quarrels among you.

12 What I mean is this: One of you says, "I follow Paul"; another, "I follow Apollos"; another, "I follow Cephas"; still another, "I follow Christ."

13 Is Christ divided? Was Paul crucified for you? Were you baptized into the name of Paul? 14 I am thankful that I did not baptize any of you except Crispus and Gaius, 15 so no one can say that you were baptized into my name. 16 (Yes, I also baptized the household of Stephanas; beyond that, I don't remember if I baptized anyone else.)

17 For Christ did not send me to baptize, but to preach the gospel, not with words of human wisdom, lest the cross of Christ be emptied of its power.

18 For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God.

19 For it is written: "I will destroy the wisdom of the wise; the intelligence of the intelligent I will frustrate."

20 Where is the wise man? Where is the scholar? Where is the philosopher of this age? Has not God made foolish the wisdom of the world? 21 For since in the wisdom of God the world through its wisdom did not know him, God was pleased through the foolishness of what was preached to save those who believe. 22 Jews demand miraculous signs and Greeks look for wisdom, 23 but we preach Christ crucified: a stumbling block to Jews and foolishness to Gentiles, 24 but to those whom God has called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God and the wisdom of God.

25 For the foolishness of God is wiser than man's wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than man's strength.

26 Brothers, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. 27 But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. 28 He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things and the things that are not to nullify the things that are, 29 so that no one may boast before him. 30 It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption.

31 Therefore, as it is written: "Let him who boasts boast in the Lord."