Rip Tuesday

Happy Returns, courtesy of my favorite bee-ah-chez:

HEATHER: Is it wrong to fug Rip Taylor?
JESSICA: I don't think so. He's still in his right mind, isn't he?
HEATHER: ... OR IS HE? ... But seriously, with Rip Taylor, can you ever tell?
JESSICA: He is one of those actors I always think is dead.
HEATHER: Like Gene Wilder.
JESSICA: And then I realize I was thinking of someone else.
HEATHER: Well, you will be pleasantly surprised today to see that he is alive and well and looking rather saucily like he is Rip Simmons, illegitimate brother of Richard, who was exiled from the family when it was revealed his goal in life is to make people fatter.
JESSICA: I think I'm thinking of Rip TORN. ... Who is ALSO not dead.
HEATHER: You have it in for the Rips. Are there any famous dead Rips?
JESSICA: Hmm...
HEATHER: I believe Mr. Van Winkle is no longer with us.
JESSICA: And NOW I'm thinking of Red Buttons... who is ALSO not dead.
HEATHER: Are you sure? Red Buttons sounds dead to me.
JESSICA: Not according to IMDb. Ah, but Redd FOXX is dead.
HEATHER: Bingo! Six Degrees of Dead Celebrities has been brought to you by IMDb, Instant Messenger, and Diet Coke.