Such As These

Sad today.

My Boss and his Wife have a thirteen year-old and an eight-year old. The Wife is 38. Boss, 39. They've been thinking about having a third baby for some time now. Just found out two weeks ago. SURPRISE! Pregnant. Wife was so surprised actually, that she ended up taking something approximating 8 pregnancy tests. I joked that at least I knew what to get her for her shower.

They did their first ultrasound last Friday. All's well. This morning when I came into work, Boss informed me he would be out for awhile... Wife'd had a little light bleeding. Not unusual, still... When I couldn't get him by mid-afternoon, the knot in my stomach grew tighter. Sure enough...

Earlier that day, one of my Bridesmaids (the Wife half of Our Married Friends) had called me to chat. She works on the delivery floor of a local hospital. She and her mother, a delivery nurse, were on duty the night my niece greeted the world with her charming little blue eyes. Actually, Bridesmaid's mother was the one who measured and weighed Jadie and then cleaned her up for my sister to hold and snuggle. Such a precious night. I saw my niece born and my friends and family were all there to celebrate. I was the one who got to run down the hall and shout, "It's a girl!" Sis had wanted it to be a surprise, so we didn't know who we were getting before Jade appeared. We were truly graced that day; she is our blessed treasure.

I got to play "stomp bubbles" with her yesterday afternoon at MF's house. (Blow lots of big bubbles onto the wet stone patio and chase them around, stomping them to pop as many as you can.) Her sandy hair keeps getting curlier and thicker (not unlike mine at her age); her eyelashes longer and longer; cheeks more kissy-fied; disposition more hilarious. And just when you think she's reached the pinnacle of cuteness -- what's this?! A NEW WORLD RECORD!!! Yes, that's an almost two-year-old chasing MF, 34, around the house, confident that when she catches him she'll overpower him with tickles and be Queen of the living room.

Anyway, Hospital Bridesmaid and I were chatting. She was on duty Friday night and noticed some friends of hers -- a newlywed couple -- on the board. The corresponding notation said, "infant demise." No, Jesus. Please. No... Without explanation or primary cause, their baby -- suddenly at 32 weeks -- had passed away. Devastating.

I asked her, "Not to sound morbid or anything, but... how... after they deliver... what?..."

"Oh, no, don't worry. They clean them up just like all our babies, they bathe them and make them smell all shampoo-ie and put them in little outfits made specially by sweet volunteer ladies. They get to hold them as long as they want. We take pictures for them and make scrapbooks. They can even take a lock of hair if they want. We also have special memorial services. And for the little, little ones there are special jewelry boxes they can rest in."

I began to get more than a little choked up. Two years ago, I won a writing award for a short story based on just that topic. It was an idea I'd gotten after I'd read an article in a Christian magazine about a maternity hospice. Parents of severely deformed babies who chose to carry those babies to term were cared for in the most intimate and loving way. Instead of having their babies taken from them and disposed of, they got to see them, touch them, greet them and, in their time, say goodbye. Grandmothers knitted bonnets, booties, and onesies for these angels, keeping themselves in a steady labor of love.

Juxtaposed were the women who chose to have abortions, their babies incinerated or simply thrown in the medical waste rubbish. The raw data was undeniable. Those who delivered their children and were allowed to care for them fared far better than those who simply ended their children's lives. Both sets of parents faced incredible loss, yet only one group suffered serious long-term scarring.

Bridesmaid said her Mom especially took the program to heart. See, Hospital Bridesmaid had once had another brother. He made it twenty weeks. The last thing her mother remembers is seeing Jeremy in a wash basin. No special care was taken to treat him like a blessed child of God. He was taken away like a dirty secret, a mistake, a flaw, something not to be looked upon. As we talked, I could hear Hospital Bridesmaid's newborn daughter cooing on her lap. How blessed we are. How blessed.

When Boss called today to give me the news, I accepted it. He said what he had to say and was about to sign off. I asked him if he could keep the Newlywed Couple in his prayers. They had lost a baby, too. He then revealed the most astounding thing (something that happens quite a lot in God's circle.) He had heard their story earlier that day. Boss & Wife and the Newlywed Couple have the same doctor... where Hospital Bridesmaid and her Mother both work; where her precious daughter and my precious niece were both born. And we certainly don't live in a small town. God is too funny...

As I begin my step up to the role of wife, I cannot help but contemplate my role ahead as mother. I pray that God blesses us with an easy road, though I trust Him if it is not. Whatever comes, I trust Him.

I sent a bouquet to Boss's Wife. It should arrive tomorrow; something to keep her company as Boss must leave for Minnesota on business. The flowers are purple, yellow, coral and orange -- her favorite colors. The card reads:

John 3:16 --
For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.
And
Luke 18:15-17 --
15 And they brought unto him also infants, that he would touch them: but when his disciples saw it, they rebuked them.
16 But Jesus called them unto him, and said, Suffer little children to come unto me, and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of God.
17 Verily I say unto you, Whosoever shall not receive the kingdom of God as a little child shall in no wise enter therein.

For such as these and no other.